寵

我不能客觀的分析他對我是好是壞。我總是覺得沒有得到該有的尊重，但在這種情況下，我又可以奢求甚麼?但願我至少懂得他對我是真是假。他為了我取消家庭聚會，我是很訝異。他說他把我寵壞，原本我從不覺得，但想想，從沒有人這樣待我，我就發現，我似乎習慣了，是太習慣了。沒想到，按奈不住的會是我。

昨天聽到好久沒聽的一首歌：

我想我是太過依賴　才掛電話的剛才
堅持學單純的小孩　靜靜看守這份愛
知道不能太依賴　怕你會把我寵壞
你的香味一直徘徊　
我捨不得離開

累

一個認為自己很難討好的人，會否懂得對別人對他的好grateful? 我以為我不望回報，但這種石沉大海的感覺，令我覺得累和無謂。我不想再繼續了。

感動

好久沒有寫。近日從看兩年前的部落格，發覺很多事我都忘了，幸好有記下來，所以決定再寫。

有人關心的感覺真的很好。有人想跟我分享的感覺真好。昨晚看著那短訊，我感動了。

細路

認識我的人都知道，我是很喜歡小朋友的。自己沒有，就先玩人家的吧 ;p

A trip to Taiwan 6

Wanted to write this in Chinese but believe it or not, there's not changjie in this computer I'm using (I thought Changjie is invented by a Taiwanese!!)

This is my fifth day in Taiwan. Orginally, I was supposed to go to HuaLian, but due to the strongest typhoon, I can't go anywhere....

I'm now stuck in my friend's home in YiLan. Even though I don't have anything to do right now, I'm still enjoying myself a lot here. I always wanted to try living a Taiwanese life and this time, which is my sixth visit to Taiwan, my dream finally comes true.

I'm now staying with my friend and her brother's family in a three storey house. I'm having meals with them, going out to the market with them, buying daily necessities, I almost feel like a Taiwanese already!

Two more days, my vacation will end and I have to get back to reality....

Stopped

Stopped, don't know by who. Just don't have the energy to move on and most importantly, I don't know where I'm heading.

Feeling really down lately. I know I have goals but they didn't come within me. I made them, so that I can tell myself I should head that direction, but at the end, I find the whole thing really meaningless, same as my life.

Feeling insignificant, feeling ignored, feeling lonely, even if I'm surrounded by people.

從何沖出發

其實在遇到何沖的前一晚上，我知道了自己的考試成績。也不是說意料之外，可我就一直是心存僥倖的人。終於，在考試上遇到人生第一個挫敗。就連考駕照也不曾失敗的我，要重考了。

心情其實還蠻沉重的。雖然之前準備的時候，明明就是不夠努力，不夠認真，可我還是認為，我是盡了有史以來最大的努力，所以考完以後，我就像一條拉鬆了的橡皮圈，現在，不知怎麼可以從頭再來。

我跟朋友說，最擔心的，就是不知如何開始。因為範圍太廣，自己的認識太少。她說:就從跟何沖見面後開始吧! 當時，我還不知道，自己真的有機會與他相遇。那一個晚上，我好像覺得，完成了一件事，一件很難得，難得到有點不可思議的事，所以，我應該有足夠的力量去開始吧!

再說多一點點關於何沖的事。他練跳水的過程其實並不太順利。剛練習好作高台跳水，卻因身體長得太快的問題要改練跳跳板。後來又因腳傷而要停止習訓半年。再開始的時候又要面對過重的問題，還有表現不穩定，更曾因而被國家隊辭退。也許，我應該早就明白，至少在我身上，不勞而獲的事情是不會發生的。我還是將勤補拙吧!